It’s impossible to get a sexually transmitted infection through “biblically correct sex,” according to a new study from reliable scientific source Dr. That Homophobic Idiot with the Beard from Duck Dynasty No the Other One.
Phil Robertson, who was once fired from the A&E reality show— for 8 days, anyway—over his very public anti-gay bigotry, delivered his professional medical opinion during a recent sermon in Louisiana:
“Biblically correct sex is safe. It’s safe. You’re not going to get chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, AIDS — if you, if a man marries a woman, and neither of you have it, and you keep your sex between the two of you, you’re not going to get EVER sexually transmitted diseases.”
“Man meets woman, marries her, keeps his sex right there, the children come, the chances of them getting a sexually transmitted disease, would you say is almost zero? You can say it,” continued the professional TV duck hunter and respected member of the research community.
If there were any non-sexual way to get one of these infections, Phil would certainly have heard about it.
Oh, wait:
“The organisms causing STIs can also be spread through non-sexual means such as blood products and tissue transfer. Many STIs—including chlamydia, gonorrhoea, hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, HSV2 and syphilis—can also be transmitted from mother to child during pregnancy and childbirth,” according to the World Health Organization, which does not have a popular reality television show at this time.
But bringing that up is only for the “masters of exceptions,” Phil says. That stuff never happens in real life.
And he would know, because Duck Dynasty merchandise brings in $400 million yearly, roughly four times what the U.S. government contributes to the WHO. That basically makes him a real doctor.
These Patrons make the Fowler Show possible ($20+ monthly donation on Patreon.com/FowlerShow) & we couldn’t do it without them!
Truthservers.com
Are you a fan of The Fowler Show? Become a Patron & help support independent media! Learn more here:
http://www.patreon.com/fowlershow
Want to help out but don’t have any money to donate? Donate your account & help us get our stories out on social media. Learn more here:
http://www.donateyouraccount.com/fowlershow
If you liked this clip, share it with your friends and hit that “like” button!
1,500 Subscriber Behind The Scenes Reward Video –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT9x1PvQTBU
Subscribe to our Podcast on iTunes for free!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-richard-fowler-show/id510713880
@fowlershow
@richardafowler
http://www.facebook.com/richardfowlershow
http://www.fowlershow.com
http://fowlershow.tumblr.com/