wHEN i met my girlfriend we fucked like rabbits the first night we met and we have now been together for 15 years now,we where drunk as fuck and thats the best way to meet people I think,if you wake up the next morning and you see the girl sober and she is still as hot as you thoght the night before with the booze goggles and a really nice girl to match you have scored big time.we didnt even have the exclusivity talk,you just know.Idont get the dating thing,think thats an american thing,sound like super awkvard and my worst nightmare.
I have to say 8 months is way to long to not be in an exclusive relationship for me. For me if it isn’t serious by about 2 months I think about getting out. That can depend on how much I like the person, but I don’t let things drag on to long if I feel it isn’t going somewhere. The number is different for everyone, but don’t wait 8 months if you are not comfortable with the situation.
The rules of dating hasn’t change you need to say I want a relationship. Meaning that I want a committed relationship. RWJs now girlfriend had Ana’s problem. She dumped a guy because he cheated. RWJ comes in and explains that he wants a relationship meaning somebody to settle down with or find somebody to settle down with. Just be straight forward and say I want exclusivity. You are wrong RWJ brought it up with his girl when they first met.
Cenk’s it’s like being proud of America for being number 1 in the worst things possible like sex trafficking. Thank you for this awesomely ha bisky post game. It took me so long to watch this because P4A went for 48 hours and made me behind in youtubeland.
Ana, 8 months is waaaaay too long, don’t listen to the guys. I think about 2 months is around the right time to bring up the conversation, although it does depend on how frequently you’ve been seeing the person/how well you know them, etc. I was really good friends with the guy that I’m currently dating before we started hooking up, so we started being exclusive around a month and a half after we started hooking up, because the feelings were already really strong.
This is awesome! Sooo glad I chose to become a full TYT member.. Now I get to watch alllll the TYT videos I want WHENEVER I want. No more waiting for small clips to show up in my YouTube feed :) Yeehaw
Bottom line: use protection until you’ve got a fidelity commitment. Without a commitment, you’re at risk to catch whatever your partner catches from others. Cheating is so bad because you’re putting your partner at risk (NOT just yourself) for diseases, when he or she doesn’t KNOW they’re at risk. No one has a right to do that.
at the end Cenk says “did you see somthing strong something’s girlfriend”
who ‘s girlfriend
btw I’m not buying that most women would be fine with a guy having sex with other women, when they’ve been going out for 6 months and seeing each other a couple of times a week
At least Ana has some sense about STD’s. It amazes me how Cenk thinks that STD’s shouldn’t even be a consideration. Herpes is forever; condoms offer very little protection against herpes; herpes increases the risk of dementia; Cenks conclusion: don’t worry about it.
its not only herpes either,its,I am not really shure what its named in english,but I think its genetelia vorts.its a virus and causes cancer later in life and men can have it and dont notice it at all.the women get ovarian cancer and the men can get throat cancer if you go down on a woman that have it.Btw the women doesnt need to notice it either if those vorts comes only in the vagina and cant be seen.
There are wildly different individual preferences for exclusivity. On one side of the spectrum, some people only want to have sex with someone they marry and on the other end, some people never want to be exclusive. I think a lot of people fall into a more middle ground, with some like Ana, who want to be exclusive while dating and having sex and Cenk, who wants to be exclusive only after a period of dating and having sex. The lesson learned is YOU CANNOT ASSUME WHAT SOMEONE’S INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE IS, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT. So, in Ana’s case, she would need to have the talk before having sex with someone. I think a lot of people would actually be OK with it, men included. For the ones who aren’t, you just have to realize that people are different and you are not compatible with everyone. That’s OK, just move on. It’s not about you.
Weird I never thought that I should ask. My thoughts have always been… if he can see me like 3-4 times a week for hours and hours and he misses me and he calls, sends messages etc and he still has the strength to hit it with other women… Respect. I’ve never really had an exclusive talk except when I was in high school. I agree with Cenk the uncertainty is the best part of all of it. Oh and men they are so yummy in the cat and mouse game. And trust me I have become fat, I am old and I still have my share. Such a treat, how you trick them… impress them, ignore them, how insane they are about sex, how they try to learn your reactions on one nights… how they consider themselves so smart … or how shy and fragile they can be… geeks, totally into the things they do,I love it. Men… Can’t beat them. And then you fall in love and the end of the games. You must hang in there if they don’t love you, full speed ahead if they do. A little crazy greek wisdom for ya.
Jesus, over 8 months before you can ask about being exclusive?? I’m a bit of a romantic. but if we’ve been on 3 dates, I would expect exclusivity cause I certainly would be.
There’s no catch all rule book for dating and relationships. we’re all different. I wouldn’t call marriage the ULTIMATE commitment, it’s just a piece of paper and a ring. it’s a promise as well, but you don’t have to get married to make a promise to each other. I don’t care for marriage at all, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want an exclusive relationship at some point in the future. If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner have to decide what is and isn’t cheating. because, cheating isn’t the problem, breaking the promise is… BETRAYAL of trust. if you haven’t made a promise, cheating isn’t possible.
But as far as dating goes, that’s different, and I haven’t figured it all out yet, except, I kind of believe that if something is going to be, it will be. it is what it is, if you know what I mean. So if you’re dating someone, and the person you’re dating does reprehensible (in your opinion) then let it go, find someone else, someone more like you. I think it goes beyond what is an isn’t acceptable, it’s more about finding someone compatible. There’s no point moulding someone to fit. I GUESS you could talk about it in the dating phase, but I feel like that shouldn’t be necessary. if you’re right for each other, it will all work out in the end. :) and if not, no big loss…
Someone please tell me if I’m the only one who finds that whole relationship talk utterly boring. I studied theoretical physics and I’m a bit of a maverick anyway, so I wonder if it’s just me. Isn’t it always the same? The answer is always to just talk with your partner. I don’t understand why people have to go on and on talking about that stuff.
You’re not alone, I find the talks mostly boring too, but I can understand Ana’s problem from a neutral standpoint, and it’s interesting in and of itself. She’s combining two different types of neurosis, the inexperienced teenage wubby’s “I want someone to cuddle up next to” mindset and the supposedly mature woman’s “I’m pushing thirty so I should be sleeping around as much as possible, go go go!” mindset. Shenans ensue.
And the craziest part of it all is that she’s asking Cenk “Mr. Jamaica” Uygur for advice! A guy twice her age known for his unbearable bragging and the millions of gender stereotypes he spews per minute! Genius.
It is ok to ask as soon as you guys are meeting up one-on-one and have started making out. Once the romantic stuff starts, ie: once you are doing things that you would not do with a friend, even if its before sleeping together, it is 100% ok to ask and make sure – you will not come across weird or anything so do not worry.
Once your relationship is obviously past the friendship stage, and things are clear in that you both know that you dig one another, then you need to ask, just to make sure.
Don’t reveal your cards either, just ask them their stance on it first. Because if you start by saying “I only do exclusive” then they will tell you what you want to hear. Just ask, and see what they say. This way, at least you know if they want to be exclusive with you or not.
Or, if you don’t care about revealing your cards, that’s ok too. Just hit them up and let them know. ex: “Hey, I just need to make sure we’re on the same page…would you prefer to be exclusive or not?” – of course, this open question will give you your answer without opening your cards as well, so it’s best to ask that way. If they want to be exclusive, then awesome, tell them that you wouldn’t be able to do it any other way. If they don’t wan’t to be exclusive, then at least you know to watch out in that they may be cheating on you while you both are together.
I think the main factor of “exclusivity” is how frequently you are seeing each other one on one. If you’re seeing each other more than three times a week then I would call that an exclusive relationship. It seems much more flexible than something like “meet the parents” or 8 months. If you are spending the majority of your free time with a person, then it is not ok to cheat until you dial that down or end it completely.
But that’s just another mostly arbitrary line in the sand. How about drawing the line at “the first time it becomes an issue”, as in, the first time either party sleeps around, it’s time to have the (non)exclusivity talk?
Comments
wHEN i met my girlfriend we fucked like rabbits the first night we met and we have now been together for 15 years now,we where drunk as fuck and thats the best way to meet people I think,if you wake up the next morning and you see the girl sober and she is still as hot as you thoght the night before with the booze goggles and a really nice girl to match you have scored big time.we didnt even have the exclusivity talk,you just know.Idont get the dating thing,think thats an american thing,sound like super awkvard and my worst nightmare.
I have to say 8 months is way to long to not be in an exclusive relationship for me. For me if it isn’t serious by about 2 months I think about getting out. That can depend on how much I like the person, but I don’t let things drag on to long if I feel it isn’t going somewhere. The number is different for everyone, but don’t wait 8 months if you are not comfortable with the situation.
The rules of dating hasn’t change you need to say I want a relationship. Meaning that I want a committed relationship. RWJs now girlfriend had Ana’s problem. She dumped a guy because he cheated. RWJ comes in and explains that he wants a relationship meaning somebody to settle down with or find somebody to settle down with. Just be straight forward and say I want exclusivity. You are wrong RWJ brought it up with his girl when they first met.
Cenk’s it’s like being proud of America for being number 1 in the worst things possible like sex trafficking. Thank you for this awesomely ha bisky post game. It took me so long to watch this because P4A went for 48 hours and made me behind in youtubeland.
Ana, 8 months is waaaaay too long, don’t listen to the guys. I think about 2 months is around the right time to bring up the conversation, although it does depend on how frequently you’ve been seeing the person/how well you know them, etc. I was really good friends with the guy that I’m currently dating before we started hooking up, so we started being exclusive around a month and a half after we started hooking up, because the feelings were already really strong.
This is awesome! Sooo glad I chose to become a full TYT member.. Now I get to watch alllll the TYT videos I want WHENEVER I want. No more waiting for small clips to show up in my YouTube feed :) Yeehaw
Bottom line: use protection until you’ve got a fidelity commitment. Without a commitment, you’re at risk to catch whatever your partner catches from others. Cheating is so bad because you’re putting your partner at risk (NOT just yourself) for diseases, when he or she doesn’t KNOW they’re at risk. No one has a right to do that.
Wow that conversation was so candid, it blew my mind. I’m glad to be a TYT member now :)
at the end Cenk says “did you see somthing strong something’s girlfriend”
who ‘s girlfriend
btw I’m not buying that most women would be fine with a guy having sex with other women, when they’ve been going out for 6 months and seeing each other a couple of times a week
At least Ana has some sense about STD’s. It amazes me how Cenk thinks that STD’s shouldn’t even be a consideration. Herpes is forever; condoms offer very little protection against herpes; herpes increases the risk of dementia; Cenks conclusion: don’t worry about it.
its not only herpes either,its,I am not really shure what its named in english,but I think its genetelia vorts.its a virus and causes cancer later in life and men can have it and dont notice it at all.the women get ovarian cancer and the men can get throat cancer if you go down on a woman that have it.Btw the women doesnt need to notice it either if those vorts comes only in the vagina and cant be seen.
There are wildly different individual preferences for exclusivity. On one side of the spectrum, some people only want to have sex with someone they marry and on the other end, some people never want to be exclusive. I think a lot of people fall into a more middle ground, with some like Ana, who want to be exclusive while dating and having sex and Cenk, who wants to be exclusive only after a period of dating and having sex. The lesson learned is YOU CANNOT ASSUME WHAT SOMEONE’S INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE IS, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT. So, in Ana’s case, she would need to have the talk before having sex with someone. I think a lot of people would actually be OK with it, men included. For the ones who aren’t, you just have to realize that people are different and you are not compatible with everyone. That’s OK, just move on. It’s not about you.
this is a really good point.
Weird I never thought that I should ask. My thoughts have always been… if he can see me like 3-4 times a week for hours and hours and he misses me and he calls, sends messages etc and he still has the strength to hit it with other women… Respect. I’ve never really had an exclusive talk except when I was in high school. I agree with Cenk the uncertainty is the best part of all of it. Oh and men they are so yummy in the cat and mouse game. And trust me I have become fat, I am old and I still have my share. Such a treat, how you trick them… impress them, ignore them, how insane they are about sex, how they try to learn your reactions on one nights… how they consider themselves so smart … or how shy and fragile they can be… geeks, totally into the things they do,I love it. Men… Can’t beat them. And then you fall in love and the end of the games. You must hang in there if they don’t love you, full speed ahead if they do. A little crazy greek wisdom for ya.
Jesus, over 8 months before you can ask about being exclusive?? I’m a bit of a romantic. but if we’ve been on 3 dates, I would expect exclusivity cause I certainly would be.
I’m with Ana on this issue, and I’m a guy. But no one has ever accused me of being normal.
hair situation ???
nevermind
There’s no catch all rule book for dating and relationships. we’re all different. I wouldn’t call marriage the ULTIMATE commitment, it’s just a piece of paper and a ring. it’s a promise as well, but you don’t have to get married to make a promise to each other. I don’t care for marriage at all, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want an exclusive relationship at some point in the future. If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner have to decide what is and isn’t cheating. because, cheating isn’t the problem, breaking the promise is… BETRAYAL of trust. if you haven’t made a promise, cheating isn’t possible.
But as far as dating goes, that’s different, and I haven’t figured it all out yet, except, I kind of believe that if something is going to be, it will be. it is what it is, if you know what I mean. So if you’re dating someone, and the person you’re dating does reprehensible (in your opinion) then let it go, find someone else, someone more like you. I think it goes beyond what is an isn’t acceptable, it’s more about finding someone compatible. There’s no point moulding someone to fit. I GUESS you could talk about it in the dating phase, but I feel like that shouldn’t be necessary. if you’re right for each other, it will all work out in the end. :) and if not, no big loss…
Someone please tell me if I’m the only one who finds that whole relationship talk utterly boring. I studied theoretical physics and I’m a bit of a maverick anyway, so I wonder if it’s just me. Isn’t it always the same? The answer is always to just talk with your partner. I don’t understand why people have to go on and on talking about that stuff.
You’re not alone, I find the talks mostly boring too, but I can understand Ana’s problem from a neutral standpoint, and it’s interesting in and of itself. She’s combining two different types of neurosis, the inexperienced teenage wubby’s “I want someone to cuddle up next to” mindset and the supposedly mature woman’s “I’m pushing thirty so I should be sleeping around as much as possible, go go go!” mindset. Shenans ensue.
And the craziest part of it all is that she’s asking Cenk “Mr. Jamaica” Uygur for advice! A guy twice her age known for his unbearable bragging and the millions of gender stereotypes he spews per minute! Genius.
SOLUTION:
Plus, I want Ana to know the following:
It is ok to ask as soon as you guys are meeting up one-on-one and have started making out. Once the romantic stuff starts, ie: once you are doing things that you would not do with a friend, even if its before sleeping together, it is 100% ok to ask and make sure – you will not come across weird or anything so do not worry.
Once your relationship is obviously past the friendship stage, and things are clear in that you both know that you dig one another, then you need to ask, just to make sure.
Don’t reveal your cards either, just ask them their stance on it first. Because if you start by saying “I only do exclusive” then they will tell you what you want to hear. Just ask, and see what they say. This way, at least you know if they want to be exclusive with you or not.
Or, if you don’t care about revealing your cards, that’s ok too. Just hit them up and let them know. ex: “Hey, I just need to make sure we’re on the same page…would you prefer to be exclusive or not?” – of course, this open question will give you your answer without opening your cards as well, so it’s best to ask that way. If they want to be exclusive, then awesome, tell them that you wouldn’t be able to do it any other way. If they don’t wan’t to be exclusive, then at least you know to watch out in that they may be cheating on you while you both are together.
Just because a man is eating lobster doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to try the tuna
I think the main factor of “exclusivity” is how frequently you are seeing each other one on one. If you’re seeing each other more than three times a week then I would call that an exclusive relationship. It seems much more flexible than something like “meet the parents” or 8 months. If you are spending the majority of your free time with a person, then it is not ok to cheat until you dial that down or end it completely.
But that’s just another mostly arbitrary line in the sand. How about drawing the line at “the first time it becomes an issue”, as in, the first time either party sleeps around, it’s time to have the (non)exclusivity talk?