Inadvertently harming an animal that depended on me and constantly showed its love for me pretty much ruined me as a person. I’ve never been the same since, and that was 20 years ago. I can certainly see why that emotion would feel like an impediment to having kids. I have a kid that I didn’t exactly plan but I adore, and he was born three months premature, and holy shit the guilt is massive, just for having him that way, nevermind the everyday mother guilt of did he eat healthy enough, am I teaching him the right things, etc., etc. I wake up and go to bed feeling guilty every day and have for all of his three years. There are a couple of things that mitigate it, though. His father is incredible, for one, taking care of both the kid and his guilt-stricken mother, and the kid is his own little person who does just fine no matter what life throws at him. Even before he was born, he had a mind of his own, including being like nine months? eff that, I got things to do.
You wouldn’t be an unfit mother, Ana, but I have a feeling you might become unfit for everything else, because that’s where you’d put all your energy. If you don’t want that, don’t do it, haha! Love you guys much.
I too have felt that level of guilt over my dog…. Usually when I’m having a bad autism day, and I’m close to a meltdown anyway…. and my dog will do one tiny little thing that’s really not a big deal, but it seems like the end of the world in that moment, and I’ll get so frustrated that I’ll swear at him/yell at him, and then he’ll look at me all sad and apologetic (appeasement signals), and I’ll immediately burst into tears, and tell him I’m sorry, and he’ll give me kisses and lick away the tears, while I pet him and give him ear scritches…..
Also happened when I’ve accidently stepped on his foot or something, and he yelps… So much guilt!
As a dog person with their own issues (I have three dogs that all weigh more than I do), They all three seem to be able to figure out when I’m irrational (IE when I’m sad or angry over some innocuous thing) and respond accordingly (with doggy hugs and kisses).
First of all, you need to calm the freck down. Your dog is fine and he’ll love you now matter what happens. A good proof that you are hand have been a good dog parent is the very fact that Charlie wanted to cuddle up against you when you accidentally hit him in his eye. If Charlie was truly traumatized, he would have ran away from you. So like John said, he was probably more surprised than physically hurt.
Secondly, the very fact that you felt so much empathy when Charlie was hurt, tells me that you would be an excellent mother (to a child). No one goes into parenthood thinking that they are going to be a good parent (unless they already have a child and are already a good parent to begin with) Most people go into it totally inexperienced, so they feel exactly the way you do. They think they’d be totally unfit for it.
But as I said before (not sure if you read my previous comments), parenthood TOTALLY rewires your brain. You child becomes your life, and you’ll instinctually know how to love and care for him/her. Yes, there are HUGE sacrifices you’ll need to make, but the return on investment is exponential. If you are absolutely convinced that you never would want kids, then that’s okay too…as you would say “you do you boo”.
But if you want to be a mother someday, don’t wait until “you are a better person” or “when the conditions are right”, because those are a relative (what I mean by this is that you won’t know even when that day comes), and you’ll always wind up raising the bar anyways because you’ll always want the best. There is no “best”! There are people who are in not in the best financial condition, or have goals that the want to obtain, or too young, or too old, or whatever the condition may be, who do have kids and wind up being great parents.
My advice to you is to ask your parents, or Cenk’s parents, or Cenk, or anyone else for that matter if they were FULLY prepared to have kids before they had their first child, and I can almost guarantee that most of them will say no, and that they were as, or even more nervous and apprehensive as you.
Whatever you decide, I am sure will be the right decision, but don’t judge yourself by who are now, but who you can be, and how much of that greatness you and Christian have that will be shared with your future children.
People who have chronic and in my case neuropathic pain not relieved by other medication do require opioids as well. Marijuana will also relieve but the dispensaries are being built (I live in Pennsylvania). The chemical that Ana was looking for as someone also mentioned was DXM, or dextromethorphan (say that 3 Times fast!) and as also it metabolizes into the primary chemical in ecstasy if my understanding is right (someone correct me if I’m wrong). That’s all I have to provide; love the show and what you do!
John is 100% correct, take a day off to take care of a cough. A) a cough is not good when you talk for a living and B) it’s disgusting to spew your germs at everyone.
Also as a pain management patient myself I understand just how hard it is to get even Codeine for conditions that won’t respond or respond fully to other treatment. But, TYT, this is what happens when you continue to hype up the “Opiod Epidemic” without ever mentioning the caveat that many patients do actually need these medicines, while you hype up marijuana all the while. I love you Ana but you guys never seem to care about those of us who follow all the rules and use their medicine responsibly, you just use it as an opportunity to push your marijuana agenda.
And for the record, among all patients with opiod prescriptions, abuse or misuse occurs just 2% of the time.
Luv Ya Ana . My Cats will walk close to Me feet when I’m walking and they some times will get kicked , and i feel so bad and I’m worried if they think I meant to do it and will be afraid of Me from now on . But no , I apologize profusely for ten minutes and I think that they understand that I still love them and that I didn’t mean to do it . Be Happy Ana :) , Luv U TYT Family .
From Urban dictionory.
robotripping
Drinking a bottle of Robotussin cough syrup (containg DXM), with the intention of purposely hallucinating.
“To be in the dissociative state induced by ingesting excessive amounts of dextromethorphan (DXM). This chemical is most commonly abused though the consumption of cough syrup, which contain DXM for its antitussive (cough-suppresant) properties. The name is derived from the common cough syrup brand, Robotussin.
The dissociative properties induce a “trippy” altered state, but should not be confused with the “trips” caused by psychedelics such as shrooms; the drug is in the same group as PCP”…
i loved this show John really show’d his humor in how much he teased Ana, must feel super comfy. great. now take that attitude to when Ben or Cenk give you sass :)
Friendly neighborhood PA here: Ana, you will be able to get Tessalon Perles over the phone, they’re very similar to codeine however non-narcotic. Ask the doctor, I’m kinda shocked they didn’t offer it. Only take it at night, it’s super drowsy.
Power to the no-kids club, I’m a happy member as well. Love to you as always. :)
BTW Ana, kudos to you for sticking up for Cenk yesterday in Hour Two.
Immediately after reading the horrid things the JD Exec Director said about Cenk publicly, I cancelled my recurring monthly donation to JD via Act Blue. (I still donate directly to candidates like Alison Hartson.)
I get emails from JD every day asking for money, and it is my pleasure to hit REPLY every time and write “Not until you publicly apologize to Cenk Uyger.”
I hate purity police. The self-Annointed Guardians Of All That Is Right And Holy. Fuck’m.
I stopped my Justice Democrats donation as well. I have heard at least some of the candidates were not even told in advance about the decision to call for Cenk’s registration, so I’ll continue supporting them as long as they continue to advocate for the issues that made me support JD in the first place.
I wasn’t happy with the JD decision either, especially their statement. I signed the petition thing that has been posted in the comments to reinstate Cenk.
That being said, I wonder if we would be committing the same mistake they did by stopping our support of them.
After all, wouldn’t our ceasing of support be the same sort of purity test? They make a single mistake and we write them off?
I think we are right to voice our disagreement with their decision, but we need to continue to band together with groups/individuals that share our overall policy goals and we can discuss and grow on issues like this along the way. Progressives are for Progress!
Registered animal abuser, the first kid gets over protected and is kept perfect. The second kid eats dirt and cigie butts at the beach, necessary for a well developed immune system we don’t want mishaps with baby’s but their put together pretty tough for just such inevitabilities. Sure it would ruin your life trajectory but of course prissy miss any sensible observer knows you would make a great mom Ms Ana.
My poor older child was such an experiment. My younger one . . . we have so much more patience and are so much more laid back (though to be fair, my anxiety is now medicated and I had two years of therapy to learn coping mechanisms). But yeah, all that careful watching, feeding, etc – lol to that with the younger.
Comments
Inadvertently harming an animal that depended on me and constantly showed its love for me pretty much ruined me as a person. I’ve never been the same since, and that was 20 years ago. I can certainly see why that emotion would feel like an impediment to having kids. I have a kid that I didn’t exactly plan but I adore, and he was born three months premature, and holy shit the guilt is massive, just for having him that way, nevermind the everyday mother guilt of did he eat healthy enough, am I teaching him the right things, etc., etc. I wake up and go to bed feeling guilty every day and have for all of his three years. There are a couple of things that mitigate it, though. His father is incredible, for one, taking care of both the kid and his guilt-stricken mother, and the kid is his own little person who does just fine no matter what life throws at him. Even before he was born, he had a mind of his own, including being like nine months? eff that, I got things to do.
You wouldn’t be an unfit mother, Ana, but I have a feeling you might become unfit for everything else, because that’s where you’d put all your energy. If you don’t want that, don’t do it, haha! Love you guys much.
I bet the “training” thing is some sort of “sexual harassment in the workplace” thing
I too have felt that level of guilt over my dog…. Usually when I’m having a bad autism day, and I’m close to a meltdown anyway…. and my dog will do one tiny little thing that’s really not a big deal, but it seems like the end of the world in that moment, and I’ll get so frustrated that I’ll swear at him/yell at him, and then he’ll look at me all sad and apologetic (appeasement signals), and I’ll immediately burst into tears, and tell him I’m sorry, and he’ll give me kisses and lick away the tears, while I pet him and give him ear scritches…..
Also happened when I’ve accidently stepped on his foot or something, and he yelps… So much guilt!
As a dog person with their own issues (I have three dogs that all weigh more than I do), They all three seem to be able to figure out when I’m irrational (IE when I’m sad or angry over some innocuous thing) and respond accordingly (with doggy hugs and kisses).
Ana
First of all, you need to calm the freck down. Your dog is fine and he’ll love you now matter what happens. A good proof that you are hand have been a good dog parent is the very fact that Charlie wanted to cuddle up against you when you accidentally hit him in his eye. If Charlie was truly traumatized, he would have ran away from you. So like John said, he was probably more surprised than physically hurt.
Secondly, the very fact that you felt so much empathy when Charlie was hurt, tells me that you would be an excellent mother (to a child). No one goes into parenthood thinking that they are going to be a good parent (unless they already have a child and are already a good parent to begin with) Most people go into it totally inexperienced, so they feel exactly the way you do. They think they’d be totally unfit for it.
But as I said before (not sure if you read my previous comments), parenthood TOTALLY rewires your brain. You child becomes your life, and you’ll instinctually know how to love and care for him/her. Yes, there are HUGE sacrifices you’ll need to make, but the return on investment is exponential. If you are absolutely convinced that you never would want kids, then that’s okay too…as you would say “you do you boo”.
But if you want to be a mother someday, don’t wait until “you are a better person” or “when the conditions are right”, because those are a relative (what I mean by this is that you won’t know even when that day comes), and you’ll always wind up raising the bar anyways because you’ll always want the best. There is no “best”! There are people who are in not in the best financial condition, or have goals that the want to obtain, or too young, or too old, or whatever the condition may be, who do have kids and wind up being great parents.
My advice to you is to ask your parents, or Cenk’s parents, or Cenk, or anyone else for that matter if they were FULLY prepared to have kids before they had their first child, and I can almost guarantee that most of them will say no, and that they were as, or even more nervous and apprehensive as you.
Whatever you decide, I am sure will be the right decision, but don’t judge yourself by who are now, but who you can be, and how much of that greatness you and Christian have that will be shared with your future children.
i’m so glad the dynamic duo is back together. :-)
People who have chronic and in my case neuropathic pain not relieved by other medication do require opioids as well. Marijuana will also relieve but the dispensaries are being built (I live in Pennsylvania). The chemical that Ana was looking for as someone also mentioned was DXM, or dextromethorphan (say that 3 Times fast!) and as also it metabolizes into the primary chemical in ecstasy if my understanding is right (someone correct me if I’m wrong). That’s all I have to provide; love the show and what you do!
John is 100% correct, take a day off to take care of a cough. A) a cough is not good when you talk for a living and B) it’s disgusting to spew your germs at everyone.
Ana, try pineapple juice. You will be amazed at how it calms a cough.
Ana! Ana! Are you alive?
*Giggle*, Sorry I had to!
Also as a pain management patient myself I understand just how hard it is to get even Codeine for conditions that won’t respond or respond fully to other treatment. But, TYT, this is what happens when you continue to hype up the “Opiod Epidemic” without ever mentioning the caveat that many patients do actually need these medicines, while you hype up marijuana all the while. I love you Ana but you guys never seem to care about those of us who follow all the rules and use their medicine responsibly, you just use it as an opportunity to push your marijuana agenda.
And for the record, among all patients with opiod prescriptions, abuse or misuse occurs just 2% of the time.
Luv Ya Ana . My Cats will walk close to Me feet when I’m walking and they some times will get kicked , and i feel so bad and I’m worried if they think I meant to do it and will be afraid of Me from now on . But no , I apologize profusely for ten minutes and I think that they understand that I still love them and that I didn’t mean to do it . Be Happy Ana :) , Luv U TYT Family .
From Urban dictionory.
robotripping
Drinking a bottle of Robotussin cough syrup (containg DXM), with the intention of purposely hallucinating.
“To be in the dissociative state induced by ingesting excessive amounts of dextromethorphan (DXM). This chemical is most commonly abused though the consumption of cough syrup, which contain DXM for its antitussive (cough-suppresant) properties. The name is derived from the common cough syrup brand, Robotussin.
The dissociative properties induce a “trippy” altered state, but should not be confused with the “trips” caused by psychedelics such as shrooms; the drug is in the same group as PCP”…
i loved this show John really show’d his humor in how much he teased Ana, must feel super comfy. great. now take that attitude to when Ben or Cenk give you sass :)
Friendly neighborhood PA here: Ana, you will be able to get Tessalon Perles over the phone, they’re very similar to codeine however non-narcotic. Ask the doctor, I’m kinda shocked they didn’t offer it. Only take it at night, it’s super drowsy.
Power to the no-kids club, I’m a happy member as well. Love to you as always. :)
BTW Ana, kudos to you for sticking up for Cenk yesterday in Hour Two.
Immediately after reading the horrid things the JD Exec Director said about Cenk publicly, I cancelled my recurring monthly donation to JD via Act Blue. (I still donate directly to candidates like Alison Hartson.)
I get emails from JD every day asking for money, and it is my pleasure to hit REPLY every time and write “Not until you publicly apologize to Cenk Uyger.”
I hate purity police. The self-Annointed Guardians Of All That Is Right And Holy. Fuck’m.
I stopped my Justice Democrats donation as well. I have heard at least some of the candidates were not even told in advance about the decision to call for Cenk’s registration, so I’ll continue supporting them as long as they continue to advocate for the issues that made me support JD in the first place.
I wasn’t happy with the JD decision either, especially their statement. I signed the petition thing that has been posted in the comments to reinstate Cenk.
That being said, I wonder if we would be committing the same mistake they did by stopping our support of them.
After all, wouldn’t our ceasing of support be the same sort of purity test? They make a single mistake and we write them off?
I think we are right to voice our disagreement with their decision, but we need to continue to band together with groups/individuals that share our overall policy goals and we can discuss and grow on issues like this along the way. Progressives are for Progress!
Registered animal abuser, the first kid gets over protected and is kept perfect. The second kid eats dirt and cigie butts at the beach, necessary for a well developed immune system we don’t want mishaps with baby’s but their put together pretty tough for just such inevitabilities. Sure it would ruin your life trajectory but of course prissy miss any sensible observer knows you would make a great mom Ms Ana.
My poor older child was such an experiment. My younger one . . . we have so much more patience and are so much more laid back (though to be fair, my anxiety is now medicated and I had two years of therapy to learn coping mechanisms). But yeah, all that careful watching, feeding, etc – lol to that with the younger.
Ana gonna kill somebody about her kids.
I could watch an entire postgame of John and Ana bonding over their love of dogs