Post Game November 16, 2017

In Post Game - On Demand by Gigi Manukyan33 Comments

Mark & Ana talk ignorance on the topic of “transitioning.”

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  1. so here’s my question:
    is Transitioning(for Trans community) a Modern term/concept based on science or mixture of science based on certain Beliefs/Philosophies?
    Has Transitioning existed before the start of Modern History?! Have many Trans people discover lost custom that other trans people in Ancient to Medieval Ages use to better transition?!

    Regarding Ana:
    This makes MORE senses?! Ana doesn’t know about Schism of Western Christians vs Eastern Christians. hence she assumes alot about Armenian Orthodox Customs. if she knew her cultural background better she could see how her taste in liberal arts has an Eastern orthodoxy influences.

  3. I’d like to preface this with that I have a trans son and for a time they used they as their preferred pronoun and have moved to masculine pronouns. Mark, my suggestions would be like Ana said, and talk to your friend and ask what their preferred pronouns are and what name they want to be referred to. Also, you can always use they/them as gender neutral pronouns when you don’t know what pronouns a person uses. And it never is wrong to ask someone what their preferred pronouns are. Once you find out name and preferred pronouns I think everything else will be fine.

  4. So I’m not trans, but I am a member of the LGBT+ community, and have a few trans/nonconforming friends, so here’s my 2 cents. Things like the transitioning process and personal boundaries (what someone feels comfortable discussing about their transition, etc.) are highly individual, so hash those things out with your friend. BUT there is definitely a proper procedure and code of conduct for cis people to follow, and step 1 is almost always to ask a person how they like to be addressed (their preferred name/pronouns) the same way you’d ask someone about their preferred nickname. There are a lot of trans bloggers who have explained the respectful protocol in detail, so my advise to anyone who wants to be sensitive to the needs of their friends and the community at large is to do your Googles and find those blog posts.

    In my experience as a bisexual, people who perhaps are trying to be respectful but haven’t done research into LGBT+ issues come off as a bit prurient. So please do your Googles!

  5. This was interesting. I️ think any attempts at showing support and asking questions with purpose of deeper understanding should be reinforced and welcomed by the LGBTQ community. Reacting with “fuck you” is counterproductive.

  7. Agree. Please don’t be angry with Mark for simply not knowing what he doesn’t know. It’s hard for people to be vulnerable enough to ask for guidance if they are afraid their ignorance and questions will be misconstrued as malevolent. I’m fairly certain Mark is coming from a good place. He knew his friend as a “he” and it might take him some time to adjust to referring to her as a “she”. There are plenty of bad actors and in the world to focus your anger at, Mark’s not one of them.

  9. As the only apparent transgender person (male to female; living as a woman since age 20, I’m 38 now) here that I know of, I must say I hate you now Mark. Mark said him and his like 20 times in the first 45 seconds of him telling the story, though I’m grateful to Ana for calling him out on it and doing so right away. Furthermore, Mark, we don’t need your advice about what criteria we should use in choosing our new name, and fuck you for saying that.

    As to names, what I did was I went to the Social Security Database of new baby names (it lists the top 1,000), and then looked to see where the name I had in mind was on the list, and what I chose was #577, which I decided was a good fit because it wasn’t so terribly common that I wouldn’t feel unique (my previous, given name being somewhat uncommon and I liked that), but also not so uncommon as to call me out and draw attention to me for having such an “unusual” name.

    As to how old friends should refer to me… I made sure when I started my transition that I explained the process and what the respectful behaviors from them would be, and I let them make their own decision as to what they would do – but to be clear I did still take note of who CHOSE to not be respectful. However, most of us are pretty kind on that subject to people we have known a long time. I had friends from 6th grade who were raised in very Texas, Christian homes, so I did cut them a lot of slack with the issue. As long as I knew they were making an honest effort, that’s all I asked. Several have contacted me even after we all went different ways in life and apologized to me for not being more understanding, and that did touch my heart. So of course I told them I knew how they were raised and I always understood that they cared about me no matter what was going on.

    On the flip-side, I did have adults that I’d been very close to (high school mentors, people who really really knew me well through extra-curricular activities and trips and such) who, when I told them of my transition, I never heard from again. That stabbed at me. That really hurt. I know they’re of an even older generation, but still, it was hard. It’s still hard.

    The person who supported me most was my mother. She loved me, accepted me, helped me – even when it was incredibly difficult to her. Pretty much the rest of my family I lost. And I’m very sorry that me being true to myself hurt them or brought them shame. But when I knew I had to transition, it was do it, or kill myself. That’s how bad discovering that about oneself was to me, and to many others.

    And even after correction by Ana, Mark continues to say “him him him”. Fuck you Mark, you’ve lost my respect. From here on you’ll have to earn my trust. And thank you Ana for being on the right side of this issue – you keep me here at TYT!

    1. Don’t be angry with someone simply for ignorance, especially when they fully acknowledge it and show a willingness to try understanding the situation.

      Mark seems completely accepting and okay with his friends transition. He just seems confused, which is why he’s asking about it. Trying to willingly overcome ignorance by seeking knowledge is a good thing.

      1. Agreed. I think it’s pretty clear he’s not trying to be disrespectful in still using he; I’m not sure he even realised until Ana mentioned it

    2. You’re shitting on Mark for saying “him” while knowing nothing about the person he is talking about, you’re experience is not everyone else’s experience. Ana did not “call him out,” she suggested he ask this person what they would like to be called as it wasn’t clear from the email. And how you chose your name had some similarity with what Mark was saying so it turns out his train of thought wasn’t totally off base. Nothing Mark said came from a place of hate or disrespect, sounds like maybe you just want to be angry at someone.

    4. Are you serious? Mark’s friend didn’t tell him what pronouns to use. They didn’t say I’m going by this female name and please refer to me as she/her/hers. They aren’t even solid on what name they want. They signed their email/letter with their name, the one they’re currently using because they haven’t figured out what other name they want to use. So their original birth name isn’t their dead name.

      I can’t see how this would make you hate Mark. He’s talking about it and it’s great that he’s doing it because he obviously wants to be sensitive to his friend’s needs. That was quite obvious. Ana didn’t call him out on anything but just proposed questions that Mark may not, and obviously hadn’t even thought about yet.

      My son is female at birth. His name was gender neutral so he kept that name. He’s younger and hasn’t decided on if he will do any transitioning, surgery wise. As my son grew he asked us to stop using female pronouns and we used they/them/theirs for pronouns because he asked us to. When he was ready, he asked us to use male pronouns. It’s ok for a trans person to not know, it’s ok for a trans person’s friend or even family how to then address that person and what is the right or wrong ways to go about addressing them or referring to them as. It’s a learning process for everyone. I would never hate a person who wants to learn more to be more sensitive to their friend’s needs. I’m sorry but I think you got what Mark was saying entirely wrong. Flat out, if his friend wanted to be addressed a certain way, they would have said so. Now Mark has more questions and will ask his friend how they want to be addressed and referred to. It’s learning, it’s openness, it’s love and kindness. This was what I was seeing from Mark. I’m going to have my son watch this and see what he says as well.

      Also, on the name thing, he thought it was an interesting point. He even said people have the right to call themselves what ever they want. He just thought it would be neat to find a name from the year you were born for a new name. I can understand feeling that was overstepping. It didn’t make me cringe and believe me a shit ton of things make me cringe.

  10. There are two reasons people celebrate Christmas on the different day. Most eastern orthodox churches were funded after Acacian Schism in the 5th century. During that time, calendar in use was ancient julian calendar. Calendar we use today is Georgian Calendar, introduced in 16th century by pope George XIII. Western churches (roman catholic and protestant churches funded about in the same time and later) are using Gregorian calendar as their liturgic calendar, but eastern churches do not.

    Armenian Apostolic Church – most dominant church in Armenia however, despite being eastern orthodox church, started using Gregorian calendar in 1923, so this is not the reason why. Armenians are different than both western and eastern christians on that. They put two different holidays: Christmas and Epiphany (called sometimes There Kings day) into one. I.e. in Poland, where I live we have two holidays – both Christmas (however, in Poland we celebrate Christmas Eve more than actual Christmas, we got presents at 24th December) and There King’s Day are bank holidays (the second one is actually celebrated only by religious people, I really have no idea what they are doing then).

  11. In case you’re interested Ana, the reason Armenian Christmas is later is because it seems no one’s told the Armenian Church that we’ve switched Calendars, so that what was the 25th December is now the 7th Jan

      2. However it seems that the Apostolic Church which does use the Gregorian calendar celebrates the birth of Jesus and the Epiphany together, both on 6th Jan

  12. man i love Mark Thompson, I wonder why hes not incredibly famous / wealthy but then im grateful cause if he was he might not be on TYT.

    (i have no idea of his finances but wish him well)

    1. Mark Thompson is the consummate gentleman. Folks like Mark, always to well, because they’re easy to be around. Take note folks, listen and learn: this guy is a master.

  13. If you’re not interested in going to school for interior design, you could try and be an interior decorator, or one of those house presenters used for selling homes.

  14. Love all Transgender,Gay & Straight whats the big deal live & let live your life is yours.

    TYT your out stock of TYT hat i am a member please order.

  15. Mark, maybe invite your friend earlier, to help you set up the party. Then you can talk privately, get the big questions out of the way, and your friend can feel helpful and more comfortable by the time the other guests arrive.

  16. Ally McBeal had some really great episodes regarding the transgender issue. That whole series was groundbreaking.

  17. where is Aggressive Progressives …… not pleased

    so much for going to shop tyt tonight …….

    Humans are habit forming …. I want to watch this tonight not next monday!

      2. Could you seriously stop spamming every single other video with this? I would assume you are adult age learn to chill

  18. You’ll be fine, Mark. Just ask your friend what name and pronouns s/he prefers. Explain that you have anxiety about messing that up — s/he will totally get that and understand. Aside from that, just have a good time!

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