Post Game October 19, 2017

In Post Game - On Demand by Gigi Manukyan17 Comments

Hannah talks about the strange man she encountered at her apartment gym.

0 seconds of 10 minutes, 22 secondsVolume 90%
Press shift question mark to access a list of keyboard shortcuts
00:00
10:22
10:22
 

Comments

  1. Hannah, I’ve enjoyed your work on TYT and when your neighbour murders you gruesomely, I’ll be sad, but not in the slightest bit surprised

    On the plus side, he may not, but then again he may. Either way, opening up honest dialogue isn’t going to change that outcome, but letting him know how much your enjoyment of your gym is curtailed by him might help.

    Don’t bother worrying about too much tact, he has no idea what tact is.

  5. Hannah, Brett, Amberia and my fellow TYT warriors:

    From what I’ve read, California, Los Angeles in particular, allows concealed carry of pistols and other easy to conceal firearms. I also see that in the 60 odd years since my father, a black man, got permission to own a pistol in LA, the NRA has managed to relax rules everywhere.

    Sick people are everywhere in the world, but the unique situation with guns in America combined with a worsening lack of mental health care makes messing with a man like this extremely dangerous in my opinion.

    I don’t think the man is passive anything Reba, I consider him a harasser/aggressor. Taking weights a person puts in front of them or interrupting a person’s workout demanding to know when they’ll finish is confrontational. Doing anything funny like taping light switches or making your own signs, even bringing a bouncer-sized man in that gym with you is triggering Merlin knows what.

    Believe it, I know life is hard and expensive for the sake of convenience in a big city, moving isn’t easy at all but neither is dealing with the sick people that always come with big cities. You don’t want anything happening that will mar you significantly for the rest of your life.

    I agree 100% with Neddoest about keeping a journal, complete with dates and times. And considering that this man is harassing your neighbor, there are issues with the apartment manager and your mail packages have been stolen any number of times Hannah, I’ve got two options for your kind consideration:

    PLAN A – 1) Use the gym as you plan to and bring your journal. Record anything with the time he does to harass you including looking back at you ‘hmmmf’-ing. When he turns the lights out, record that and leave. At no time should you speak a word to him. When he says anything to you, look in silence and record it. Keep on with your workout unless he is preventing that in some way, in which case you record that and leave.
    2) Be looking for another apartment, taking your time.
    3) When you get the chance to move, draw up your report on the apartment to the attention of the Los Angeles County Housing Authority and/or to any other office there to serve you as a lawful tenant. CC all relevant offices, the realitor handling your building and your apartment manager, then afterwards hand a copy to your apartment manager.
    4) Then move.

    PLAN B – 1) Use the gym late at night or only during the times when you know he won’t be there. Record anything strange about the gym. If he comes in, record that and all of the above in PLAN A 1).
    2) Do as in PLAN A 2), 3) & 4).

  6. For what it’s worth, I think the reason Hannah gets criticized is that she is one of the most consistent challengers of the statistical privileges of men and also whites and cisgendered people. The TYT audience is mostly progressive, but it is dominated by males, so it is not surprising a person who strongly advocates the abolition of their privileges would raise some ire. She also deliberately trolls these people with her performance, which i enjoy, but i’m not sure it helps her in this context.

    Also, i’m surprised Ambrea and Brett advocated so strongly for Hannah to stop using her current gym. The offender is behaving complete irrationally and unfairly – HE is the one who should get out if he’s not willing to accept fair rights to the gym. Idk, those are my reflections!

    2. The refrain of, “find another gym” from Amberia and Brett throughout her story definitely stood out to me- largely thanks to the recent society-wide discussion of sexual harassment and mistreatment of women (and men… to a much lesser extent [insert eye roll here for the obligatory caveat]). The initial reaction of suggesting that a woman should bow out/run away/just accept the fucked up unfair situation just shows how deep-seated this sort of mindset is. I actually thought it myself for a moment until I realized what I was doing. It’s well past time for women to fight the fuck back so we don’t have to tuck tail and run any time someone bullies us. I am so tired of backing down.

  7. Ugh, I know exactly how Hannah feels. It sucks so hard when someone is creepy and aggressive and YOU have to avoid them. It is just unfair.

    I think you have to tell management. Ask them to actually put up an official sign.

    Beyond that, go with a buddy and tell that dude that you are leaving the lights on, he should turn down his TV and please don’t take the weights you were about to use. Basically, be assertive instead of passive aggressive. He’s being passive aggressive so maybe he won’t be able to handle direct polite yet firm confrontation. Or he could escalate, in which case, run. It’s not worth it.

  8. What about printing a flyer saying something along the lines of, ‘has this ever happened to you in our gym:’ then a few bullet points of the issues going on. Then suggest anyone else who finds this behavior questionable and disturbing, and something the management should take action on, to please send a note to the apartment manager. Then put the flyer in everyone’s post box. Perhaps if enough other people in the complex send a note to the apartment manager they will be inclined to do something about it. AND it can’t be traced back to you.

  9. The idea that he is controlling everything in the gym is completely unfair to everyone else (not to mention sounding rather psychotic). I doubt you’re the only one with concerns here. Have you spoken to others in the complex about his behavior? Because that might be helpful, especially in terms of escalating it. It’s pretty easy for a complex to ignore one person’s complaints, but lots of complaints isn’t so easy to ignore.

    Honestly, gyms are super awkward no matter what, so this kind of misanthropic behavior is completely unacceptable. You shouldn’t have to deal with that crap. And lights off with gym equipment around is totally insane.

    The sign idea is clever, but I would imagine he would just ignore it.

  10. i wonder if men stood up to other men for catcalling, would ‘he was asking for it’ be a valid excuse for decking your colleague or friend?

    1. I’ve done this and sometimes it just takes a little gut check to iron out these shitty dudes. I just holler, “hey, that’s my sister” and for the few times I did that when cat calling was in eye and earshot it made the asshole stutter since there may have been an ass whooping on the horizon. Each time was a hands up, sorry man no offense after significant mean mugging from the jagwagon’s in question. Stay strong ladies and continue to be loud, y’all are my heroes with dealing with all this bullshit and keeping your heads up through adversity is something we call all learn from.

  11. I agree FULLY that this gym dude seems hella weird.

    Alternative perspective though, maybe to keep in mind on how you try to coexist going forward – if he’s not in shape, and is a bit odd personality-wise, it could just be his ‘coping mechanisms’ coming to the fore??

    It sounds to me, as a fat woman with ADHD who benefits from exercise both in the brain and body, but finds it incredibly difficult to do it (not just physically but mentally, my brain will just make me go and do something else more interesting/never end up following through) that he could be trying to get fit but maybe is embarrassed (lights off) and has some motivation issues (GoT makes it interesting/worth staying).

    However – watching the Red Wedding over and over is just… yeah. Nope-town.

    But again – maybe he has OCD, maybe he’s on the ASD spectrum – since i have the adhd happenin’, i know that i can have crossover behaviour similar to someone with autism – if i knew this person was on the spectrum, i could think that the repetition is part of a focused obsession/fixation, albeit a less than healthy fixation…. it’s all too hard to judge not knowing the person/seeing him interact with the world…

    BUT if any of these potential ‘reasons for behaviour’ did apply to this man, i do NOT think that he automatically gets a pass and can continue behaving that way. My point is, even though he’s married/has kid, he may not understand how it affects you/others in this specific situation and does need to be told. Sometimes I do not get why people do very simple things and need it explained to me even though i have a friggin IQ of like.. .130, ya know ? (useless humblebrag) My brain is glitchy so ‘normal’ human stuff sometimes doesn’t compute and I am cool with it being explained because I don’t want to make people uncomfortable or anything like that.

    that said – he could just be a massive dickhead, because sadly, they are very prevalent in the world. sooooo yeah. i mean, probably just a wanker but ya never know – thought it could be nice to consider a less creeptastic version? just dont get murdered, k?

  12. Hannah, you can get a discounted 24 Hour Fitness membership through Costco. Well worth it if you have a gym near you. The 24 Hour discount is greater than the cost of the yearly Costco membership so even if you’re not already a Costco member it’s worth joining there for the gym discount.

  13. That is truly disturbing… I hate to say this (because women are faced with this sort of potentially dangerous bullshit far too often) but, be careful Hannah. I hate to hear he knows which apartment you live in. Brett’s idea about having a sign made with gym rules is pretty clever. The problem with this sort of bizarre situation is, even if you were friendly with the property management, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. Being weird as fuck isn’t grounds for some sort of intervention. Personally, if there aren’t any cameras in the gym or a way to immediately trace it back to the person responsible, I’d try the sign out. If there are cameras, do it anyway. In this case I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission. If someone wants to know why you did it, tell them everything. Also, sign or no sign, keep a written record of every encounter you have. It could be very helpful in more ways than one down the road.

    1. Excellent points, TheNeddoest. I was going to suggest the log/journal idea as well.

      You’re also right about this being more serious than an annoying neighbor situation. His territorial behavior, lack of empathy, his disdain for Hannah, and his willingness to treat her like she is dirt raise the BIG red flags.

      He might be taking some less-than-legal drugs to help him build muscle or lift heavier objects. That alone makes this a serious situation.

      I don’t know what to think about the Red Wedding watching. If we knew whose side he was on in that scene it would be helpful. But if he had no side, he’s watching to enjoy the violence and brutal murder of several people. There is no way to explain that in an innocent way.

      The lights off thing has to stop immediately. Take some duct tape to put over the switch. If he goes for it anyway, it’ll alert you that he’s turning them off.

      PLEASE be careful, Hannah! The rules sign is a good idea as well.

Leave a Comment