Comedian Beth Stelling posted a picture to Instagram to illustrate the abusive relationship she was in. The picture showed her bruised legs and she announced that the man also raped her. Cenk Uygur and Ana Kasparian (The Point) hosts of The Young Turks discuss.
Do you think Stelling did the right thing? Let us know in the comments below.
Read more here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/c…
“It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple.”
– – Beth Stelling
“After I broke up with him he said, “You’re very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you’re talking about.” And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn’t want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family. I wanted to move on and forget because I didn’t understand. I don’t want revenge or to hurt him now, but it’s unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life.”
Comments
I hope Beth Stelling is being genuine here, if so, my heart goes out to her…I can’t emphasize how disgusted I get by sexual violence in all it’s iterations, but there is reason to doubt her, and that doubt is important in this case. For example, it somehow gives her occasion to make rape jokes because of her status as a victim? Does that I have a black friend give me occasion to make racist jokes? No, you shouldn’t need a victim card or a permission slip to talk about these things, even in jest, and that is exactly what it seems like the case is here. The way she made this public might come across as a bit self-serving, and not ‘courageous’ at all. The courageous thing to do would have been to go to the authorities and press charges and then after this guy was given a chance to defend himself in more or less private if she wanted to be public and discuss it in her stand-up, to set the example that rape should be reported immediately or as soon as possible, and not submitted to the court of public opinion under the guise of being courageous. Instead she is setting the example that you don’t have to report the crime and be able to prove it, you can just point a finger and sit back as everyone showers you with applause and sets you atop a throne called courage. Basically what she did was go; “Hey everybody look at me! I’m a victim and I make no bones about wanting to use it as material for my stand-up career. Aren’t I so courageous?” No, no you’re not, you’re kind of a scumbag in fact if that’s what you wanted out of this. Just because she allegedly got raped doesn’t mean that we have to genuflect to everything she says and does for all time. Scumbags can get raped too. Now, that doesn’t mean that its somehow justified, not in the least; but being victimized does not automatically grant beatification, and coming out with it in this way stands in direct opposition to the efforts of those that are actively engaged in the prevention and prosecution of sexual violence because of the precedent being established that one can suddenly rocket from obscurity to the national spotlight overnight by lobbing a few accusations around instead of having the actual courage to do the right thing as thousands do everyday absent a lime-light and a vested interest in being under it.
Hey guys! Huge fan! Thanks for what you do! its an important thing you folks are doing. I’m posting this because I felt compelled to comment on Ana’s lack of both professionalism and journalistic objectivity when addressing this story on air. (Sorry Ana. I’m a fan but……..) Cenk was undeserving of your overly harsh, and in my opinion. short sighted response to his take on the issue. I was a little confused and even shocked by your reply to his view point. It seemed like you took what Cenk was saying personally. That’s not an appropriate response for a journalist working at the level you work at.
While I understand clearly the emotion behind this story, it is completely wrong headed to throw around accusations of rape in an unfounded way. If this guy did actually rape Beth Stelling she has a moral and ethical obligation to lay charges, let the matter have its day in court and the unnamed boyfriend should go to jail when and if found guilty. Any other response is a silent condoning of his actions and a condoning of the violence that could befall the next woman he has a relationship with.
The other huge problem with this story is that accusing someone of rape is a serious, serious, serious deal. People are going to read this woman’s story and on a human and empathetic level side with her regardless of what actually may or may not have occurred. What if the ex boyfriend is innocent? His career could be ruined, His friends and family could judge him unfairly and turn on him, His reputation could be damaged beyond repair. All without having had the opportunity to have all of the facts see the light of day. Anyone who watches this channel supports and adheres to the ideal of due process. Anyone who watches this channel knows that the court of public opinion, while powerful, is often wrong.
Cenk is absolutely correct in pointing out that her handling of this issue was , at best, misguided. Rape is a big deal. To be casual about it in any context is irresponsible and only serves to add to the potential damage that could be done. to everyone involved. “Nuff Said.
Agreed,
At first I was embarrassed for Ana then angered by her; the statement, I rang a friend and he was inclined to believe ugh..
Too bad Ana probably doesn’t read these comments.